ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
