she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize