Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
