Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Randomize
