Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
