I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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