the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Dick very happy bro
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
