I didn't shave. On purpose
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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