Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
