At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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