I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
