Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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