my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize
