that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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