dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
