I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
it's like iHOP with fire
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
