okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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