He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
