guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize