Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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