I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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