Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Randomize
