When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
