So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
