Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
