Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
