somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
