so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
