And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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