plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
