dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
