I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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