So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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