it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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