I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
operation have a gay friend backfired
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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