I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize