garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Randomize
