i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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