Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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