ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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