Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
