how can u be prego again
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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