i barfeds in our rink
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
