What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
