He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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