Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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