It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
