It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
