Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
