I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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