Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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