pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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