he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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