I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
