It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
