Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize