he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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