It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
