i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
