Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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