Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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