I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
