Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
